Delhi Sight Seeing

We (Tal, myself, and our other Aussie Chris) decided that we should probably see some of Delhi's sights. So we went to the Red Fort. I thought it was very beautiful. We spent quite a large chunk of our time there posing for tonnes of photographs with Indian men, Indian women, Indian children, Indian families. One guy wanted to pose with my sunglasses on. Fair enough. One woman in a beautiful sari wanted to pose shaking my hand, I call it 'diplomat style'. Fair enough. A whole family swarmed around me wanting me in their family portrait. Fair enough. I had to sit and pose with each of their children and then each of the men. Fair enough. Some people wanted both me and Tal in the photo. Others wanted just Chris because he is a giant. Fair enough.
I will be adorning the mantelpieces of hundreds of Indian households.

After what seemed like several hours of Red Fort, we had just jumped into a rickshaw home when Chris spotted what to me looked like a Nightmare Horror Freakshow Fair, but to him looked like Disneyland... so we went in. There was a handful of people there at most, none of the rides were going, the merry-go rounds were pushed by hand and weren't mechanical... I was happy to get the hell out of there but Chris wanted to try some of the games. Fair deal, I had just dragged him around looking at buildings in the Red Fort. The photography sessions started again but at this point it was just men and I was hungry and had enough. I posed for one photo but then a girl with down-syndrome came and grabbed onto me like a spider monkey. Usually that would be borderline OK but I had just a minute earlier watched in horror as she demonstrated picking her nose and eating it to the crowd of people around me. I waited for her to let go. She didn't. The man that was trying to pose with me for a photo told her to get off me. She then proceeded to blow spit bubbles at him. I pushed her off me and ran for Tal and Chris, who were completely oblivious to the down syndrome mucus spider monkey incident.

By this time, our presence had drawn quite a large crowd of people into the Fair and all the rides had started up again. Tal and Chris decided they wanted to go on the Ferris Wheel that was spinning around like the Zipper. I told them there was no way in hell I was going on that thing. I'd also like to mention at this point that there had been thunder and lightning only 10min prior and they wanted to jump onto a giant metal wheel. They bought their tickets..
"Come on Amiee!!",
"You want to go on that thing... look how freakin fast it is going! You will die for sure!"
"It won't go that fast when people are on it!" reasoned Tal.
I still refused.. until they started to board the ride, at which point I realised I'd be left alone with the hoard of men and the mucus spider monkey. Not wanting to be a bad sport (and for the aforementioned reason) I quickly bought a ticket and hurried up the steps of the Ferris Wheel. Chris and Tal had just hopped into a carriage.
"Wait, wait, our friend!" exclaimed Tal and Chris.
"Yes, yes," said the Ferris Wheel operator as the ride started and Tal and Chris disappeared.
He stopped the ride at a different carriage and I hopped on, along with what seemed to be my Indian date.
The ride started. In all fairness, my date was very well behaved and didn't say anything or try to grope me. Brilliant.
"This isn't so bad" I thought. The Ferris Wheel was moving at the speed a Ferris Wheel should move at, Tal was right afterall, and there was a great view of the beautiful Jamah Masjid (a mosque built by Shah Jahan.. same guy who built the Taj Mahal.. not personally.. I mean he got people to make it for him......).
The speed picked up. The carriage was swinging around violently. When we'd go over the top, we almost got air. My stomach turned. I actually thought I may die. At this point I would also like to add that the bottom of my carriage was so rusted that it had broken off in the corner. I was imagining what the structural parts of the Ferris Wheel must look like and pictured the rusty carriage breaking off and plummeting to the ground.
"Great. I just survived a bombing and an earthquake to die on a Ferris Wheel. What a freaking joke," I thought.
I was imagining the newspaper headlines in my head. It seemed a disappointing way to die.
"Not. Good," I said to my date. He stared at me.
"Tell. Him. To. SLOW DOWN," I appealed to my date. He stared at me.
"Tell. Him. STOP. STOP," I tried. I had decided that this was not how I wanted to die. He stared at me. I don't think he spoke any English.
Eventually the ride stopped, I didn't die, and I stood silently waiting (fuming) for Tal and Chris. I think they could tell I was not a happy camper. I may have mentioned it.

Later, I had calmed down, and we went to a Muslim mausoleum to watch the Sufi people sing qawwali. It was somewhat nicer than the Ferris Wheel of Death. I eventually got fed dinner and the world seemed nice again.